We recently moved out of the marital home and it has been quite an adjustment as it is the only home my children have known. We downsized which needed to happen but we also left neighbors we loved and 3 acres for under an acre. It’s been an adjustment going from neighbors who were spaced nicely away from us to the City living we are now experiencing.
My oldest has taken it really hard. He’s had to mourn the loss of his childhood home. Tonight he went to have dinner with his father. In discussing the changes, his Father says, “When I move in with my significant other, your Mom can use her money from the sale of the marital home to by my house.” WHAT? “It would be perfect Mom. I like his house better than this one and we’ll be back in our old hometown.” (He’s not in high school..he’s in college)
A narcissists goal is to win at all costs at regaining control and to manipulate those around you to implement their cause. Their actions and conversations are only meant to manipulate, confuse, control, destabilize, deflect accountability, cast doubt, distort reality and create drama.
And so, having been awoken out of a sound sleep and needing sleep to work one of my 3 jobs so I can support my kids, I am writing this article for my blog in complete and utter confusion of what has taken place. Tonight I feel violated. He has no right to discuss how I will spend my money, what I will buy and where I will buy. This is why he has no idea of who I date and neither do my children. Because I want them all out of it.
It took me a while but I’m catching on. He has put me under attack which puts me in a state of shock, which naturally lowers my defenses. The stress of being attacked decreases my mental acuity. It opens me to to.my narcissist’s need for control and dominance. He wants me to teeter on the edge of imbalance. He doesn’t want me out of his life.
He is systematically trying to dismantle my ability to trust my own judgment and he wants to derail my confidence and my children’s confidence in me.
Not this time. You’re not dragging me or the boys into your crazy, delusional need to control our outcome. I signed the year lease. I have my t’s crossed and my i’s dotted. Game on. You are NOT taking me fu*k*ng down with you this time. I’ll keep my side of the street clean. You can have your games. Your monkeys are not my monkeys, it is not my circus. Your girlfriend cleans those cages now…not me!