Narcissists love attention! Good, bad or ugly, they have to have chaos and drama in their lives. Their only goal is to get their needs met at any cost because they are trying to fill a void that can’t be filled. The chaos that they cause, even when you are divorced, is a natural consequence of their disorder.
Narcissists create a fake environment to seek attention. They are very much like a bully on the playground and acquire people to be in their corner (think attorney and family) so their dirty work gets done but they don’t get “caught” doing it and appear innocent. A perfect example is during my divorce, I tried hard to keep my side of the street clean. We had an examination before trial which allows the other attorney to seek information from you with a recorder present and your attorney . After being put through the ringer and asked all sorts of stupid questions by his attorney it became apparent his attorney was trying to create imbalance and chaos. (The ex was supposed to show up by the way but thought himself above it ). He called me about our sons later and I said “Where we’re you?” He said to me “I couldn’t watch my attorney do that to you.” See…narcissists are more coward than anything else. Scared children in adult bodies who talk big and create a grand facade until they are called out. Then they shrivel in the corner like any child being punished. After all, even bad attention is good.
Unfortunately, narcissists have some really good qualities so we naturally want to make them look better so their good can shine.This is what the Narcissist wants. It is all a part of their illusion.
So here we are. Loving them, wanting others to know their good, making excuses for them….enabling them. Once we catch on to their disillusionment of their world, the abuse amps up to horrific proportions for fear of being disclosed and losing their created world and control.
The only way for your life to get better and move forward, is to remove yourself as completely and quickly as possible from their lives.
H O P E. There is hope. I did it and my goal in sharing my stories, is the hope that you can get there faster than I did. I am an open book. I welcome questions and will answer as quickly as possible.
No matter what, keep that glimmer of hope.