You keep yourself in check while walking the abuse tightrope. Balancing ever so precariously over your life while juggling the glass balls that represent your children, your job, your family, your house responsibilities, etc. Ever so careful not to drop one of those balls or to knock two together in case they should crack upon doing so. One foot in front of the other. Slowly, carefully. Eyes forward but not looking too confident. You must maintain an air of submission and contentment…even though you are anything but content.
Emotional and verbal abuse hurts like hell and never really heals but it leaves no visible marks. It’s a darkness you live alone and shamefully. Emotional abuse is unrelenting. It involves but is not limited to the following:
- Your partner demeans you in front of others
- They humiliate you
- Accuse you of being too sensitive
- Treat you like a child
- Correct your behavior
- Trivialize you and your accomplishments
- Point out your flaws
- They cannot laugh at themselves but have no problem laughing at you
- They don’t care about your feelings
Emotional abuse is the abuser’s form of brainwashing. Slowly and methodically you lose a sense of yourself and your self-esteem. When you finally crack. When you have finally had enough. The abuser will look at you and say, “Do you see/hear yourself? What is wrong with you? You are insane. You need help.” I heard it over and over my 28 years and it hurt and confused me over and over again until one day I realized it didn’t hurt me anymore and it didn’t confuse me, so I carefully put down those glass balls so as to not break them as they held those things precious in my life, and I walked steadily and purposefully to the platform at the other side of the tightrope and landed solidly on both of my feet.
My advice? Stop Juggling. Grab your self-esteem and stand solidly on your own two feet. Nothing in the world feels better than that freedom and we all deserve to be loved for who we are and not what others expect us to be.