I work at a school and nothing is more unnerving than wondering why you are being asked to go to HR.
Today I was served by my ex to shut down my blog. I had to laugh at his legal approach to control me once again. The Order states that I am ruining his reputation and could cause harm to the business that pays my child support. Okay…I’m aware of that but I am also aware that two Restraining Orders, humiliating me in his place of business where everyone could watch, yelling at me in front of the neighbors and countless other things he did, did not once enter his head as ruining his reputation. My story will be told!!! I will share my experiences either by blog or book. If I have to change my author name from my maiden name to an assumed name, I will.
Out of 1000 business cards with my name, blog name and vision statement, I have handed out one-half. There is a whole lot of writing that can be done before that September date rolls around.
Dealing with a narcissist is a challenge. Dealing with a narcissist and his vain attorney, a double challenge but it can be done. Remember a narcissist’s biggest fear is having his facade cracked and for people to know who he truly is.
Here is the issue with going to court against a narcissist. You’re supposed, to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth…the whole truth. WON’T HAPPEN. Their reality is so askew. The natural adversarial nature of the legal system is something they thrive on. They LOVE, LOVE, LOVE conflict and they are willing to lie to gain control and win. Even producing evidence from the narcissist themselves will be met with contradiction.
You need to be diligent with your record keeping. Dates, times, where, when, the conversation and witnesses.
Your children should have a legal guardian at all times if they are underage. THEY WILL INVOLVE THE KIDS TO WIN! My ex did this so many times it makes my head spin and it continues. (For the record, my children are blocked from my posts about these matters, even though the oldest is of legal age and the younger one old enough to know at 17)
My ex does everything he can to bait me. He tries to get a response from me. This time, I don’t care. Enough people have said that my writings resonate with them. I write so others don’t think they were going crazy like I did. I write so they know they are not alone. This, which will be hard for a narcissist to believe, really isn’t about him at all but rather the life I had to live with him and helping others through similar situations. IT IS NOT AT ALL ABOUT HIM OR ME GETTING EVEN. If I wanted to get even, I would use his name. I would use my married name. And if one person can walk away from their situation because of my writings, then my legal battle with him right now will be worth it. If I am ordered by a judge to take down my blog, I will write a book. HE CANNOT STOP ME FROM TELLING MY TRUTH.
It must be the blog rings true for him or I wouldn’t have been served. I’m cracking that protective facade. It’s funny because recently he has been very cooperative. I know him so well. I knew something was up. I knew there was a reason he was trying to do everything right and not argue with me. I even said it to a friend. He was setting me up to knock me off kilter. I’m not off kilter. I’m barely affected and you need to get to the point where you are not affected by their games too!
Mark my words, I will no longer be controlled by my ex-narcissist or his attorney. If his attorney wants to be his puppet and let him pull his strings, I have no control over that, but you would think that a man I sat and ate dinner with, knew his children and his wife, would eventually have my children’s back and tell him enough is enough. Man up, do what you need to do and let her and your children have peace. Ahh well, everyone needs a paycheck even if it comes in the form of goods now and then.
So, for now, I will continue to write about my experience as an abused wife. If one day, I change my author name, then you will know he won this battle but that’s okay because I was silent for many years and suffered at the hands of my abuser for many years. I will no longer be his victim. I will be a victor and while I am his target, at least it’s not our children. At least it’s still me. ( I wonder how his girlfriend feels about all this extra attention he gives me. He really does need to move on with his life)
I am and always will support the fighters, admire the survivors, honor the taken and I will never give up HOPE!