I KNEW!

There is a secret society of survivors. All having the same experience with different partners. You don’t like to talk about it because nobody believes it can be that bad, that this type of behavior exists outside of the movies. The Burning Bed is based on a true story. I doubt much was glorified for Hollywood. In fact, my gut instinct is there was too much abuse to portray, so they had to pick and choose from hundreds of incidences to get the story across.

When my narcissist started to cooperate I knew something was up. I wanted to believe he wanted to get along but I had done this dance enough years to know. Narcissists like to  play ping pong so they don’t have to take responsibility for anything.  They use blame, shame, denial and projection to hit the ball back. The whole legal action is written in projection and not wanting to take responsibility for his actions.  I have witnesses to his behavior.  I have people who were on the phone listening and waiting to call the police because I was afraid.  I have pictures of damaged walls, cracked doors, a punched in fridge door, a broken antique chair, bruises, medical reports.  He was ordered by a judge to go to Anger Management classes.  I was advised to seek help at Alternatives for Battered Women.  I don’t write my reality easily.  It drudges up a lot of pain for me and guilt for staying so long and shame for being brain washed.  I write so no one else stays as long as I did! I write so no one feels as alone as I did in my situation.

So, I knew what was up.  There was a time I would have layed awake worrying about what was going to happen.  How he would pounce this time. I knew the blog would be an issue and I knew his cooperation and empathy were just for appearance so I was not surprised by being served at all.

This is just another attempt to destroy my accomplishments and the reality of my life with him.  He had told me so many times that he just wants to forget and move on.  Of course he does!  He walked out and created this fake life for himself where no one knows the destruction he caused and still is causing.  Now he can covertly try to control me. He has no control of my life anymore or the outcome. My calling and eventually my profession, will be author.  I WILL help others through my writings. Stopping my blog won’t change my reality and it wont keep me from sharing my story to help others!

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