Become an expert at recognising a narcissist. While it is true you have to love yourself to love another, it is also true if all your love is tied up in you, that there is no love left to give. Narcissists are incapable of emotional relationships. They can fake it for a while but they cannot sustain it.
Then you need to get back in touch with you and become an expert about what you want and need. Not what the Narcissist has told you-you need or are worthy of but your desires and needs and wants.
Slowly start to build your life back up. Remember who you were before this person made you a shell of yourself.
Remember when the Narcissist realises you are starting to build yourself up, they will do everything they can to tear you down. It won’t matter whether you are together or separated, they will use the children to show displeasure and to derail you. If you don’t have children they will make sure acquaintances deliver their displeasure. Some Narcissists will even write letters to your father and step mom to be heard. Do yourself a favor and don’t ask what is in the letter, it doesn’t matter. It’s a manipulation no matter what is said. If he’s nice and apologetic, it’s a ploy. If he is displeased with what you are doing, he will lie to create allies. It just doesn’t matter!
Become an expert on empowering yourself. Take in a beautiful, peaceful sunset. Go to the beach for a day with a friend. Write, cook, paint…create. Each day brings new promise and hope that you are one step closer to being back to your center. You are back to being you. No apologies. No excuses. Just you and the unique things that make you, you. Become an expert of letting your soul shine and accepting you are not perfect but rather imperfectly perfect you!