I had to have done something right in my marriage for friends and relatives not to know what I was going through to the capacity in which I was.  Some would say I hid from the truth but I was acutely aware after our first child was born that what I was living was not normal.  It progressively got worse but for a moment, I allowed my children to experience having a Daddy.  Once they got old enough, they could no longer be fooled by my words trying to explain away bad behavior.  I also allowed him to create his business and he is really good at what he does but had people known, I’m not so sure that business would be standing today.

I always acted in a kind and loving manner.  His reality would be told differently as it often is through the eyes of a narcissist, but I built him up for many years.  I marketed his business verbally every chance I got as I worked in PTSA and other school activities.

I walked away knowing I had done everything I could to be a good wife, a good mother, a partner in his life.  I walked away on the confirmation of the 3rd marriage counselor we had seen, telling me, it was time for me to walk away.

Good Lord, I was not perfect in any shape or form and I did give up at the end but for many, many years I tried and I know, if people did not know the abuse I endured, then I must have done something right for him.  I  kept his secret.  Allowed him to build his life.

If this blog is legally shut down, I will still tell my story.  I will still reach out to others.  I will still give people hope that it is never too late to get out and rebuild your life.  The possible legalities facing this blog are just one more boulder my abuser has set in my path but I wanted the record clear. I did not put boulders in his path even when he himself was the one to break them loose.

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