Giving time and attention to the Narcissist and his attorney is exactly what they want. It’s so hard to set boundaries when they have to be set within the confines of the Court system because the Narcissist and his attorney are incapable of being fair and equitable and there is no way the Court could possibly know all the nuances of the relationship triangle.
Written agreements, if filed with the Court are to be fought and changed. Written Agreements not filed with the Court between you and the Narcissist are not valid because they are not filed with the Court. You again find yourself in a no-win situation between the Narcissist and his Narcissistic attorney who will tell you he will not argue with you when you haven’t presented an argument at all but rather written a statement in response to his correspondence. I have been dealing with this behavior forever and yet I still am amazed and stunned by the self-entitlement and attitude that no rules pertain to them but to everyone else. These people are malignant by nature. You can avoid only so much. When you avoid or try to set boundaries, they will file paperwork in Court. There is a great deal of stress in waiting and wondering when the next attack will be. So, are we supposed to accept that it is the nature of these creatures to sting, bite, steal our souls and safety? Yes. We must do whatever we have to in order to avoid being injured by them. In all fairness, the attorney is representing his client but when that attorney has been a family friend, who has held your children in his arms, and he is dragging you (and by association your children) through the Narcissist’s games at whim and going for the jugular every chance he gets, it is a sick, twisted relationship of abuse because the attorney is allowing you to be abused through frivolous lawsuits and foot stomping by the Narcissist. He’s not even smart enough to know that the Narcissist has made him the abuser. He is doing the abusing for the Narcissist. The emotional toll it takes is just what the abuser is hoping for. He is using his attorney to emotional abuse you and make you walk on eggshells and most likely there is a form of financial abuse going on too. You have to pick your battles. Sometimes I go to court and sometimes I don’t. Most of the time, his issue is caused by his own actions. He gets upset because I set boundaries and then drags me into court. I don’t go because it wouldn’t have been an issue if he had done his end of it properly.
I guess if you take anything away from this post, it’s pick your battles. Don’t be afraid to send the attorney a letter letting them know that you feel he is allowing the abuse to continue through him and send a copy to the Judge. Just remember to address the Judge as your Honor. Be honest, and try to bulletin your points so it makes for easier reading.
I am not an attorney and different states have different laws but if you have any questions, I will answer them with what worked for me if I can. Feel free to email me. Remember to add your state.