On the heels of suing me over my blog and health insurance, all of which were issues that were a product of his own doing, I get the following letter that looks innocent and caring and logical but remember what we’re dealing with. If you do that, it takes a turn and has a whole new meaning:
I want to avoid any court involvement so please hear me out.
The house sale left $xx,000+ to be distributed.
After your equity for paying the mortgage since the divorce, my equity of paying since February, and the loss of value of the property from the 2012 appraisal and the recent 2016 appraisal, the disbursement is almost perfectly 50% each at $xx,000+.
There were other minor credits here and there but they are inconsequential to the total #. (I LOVE THIS BULLSHIT PARAGRAPH-READ THIS AS GO OVER WITH A FINE TOOTHED COMB)
You will be getting a complete break down in the mail. Please look at them rationally. (THIS INDICATES THAT IF YOU DON’T AGREE, YOU ARE IRRATIONAL)
If you sign the papers it will all be finished within a week and you’ll have your money. If not, this mess will just continue indefinitely and won’t be good for anyone.(A CLOAKED THREAT. HE’S ALSO COUNTING ON MY NEED FOR CASH)
Hope to have this end, (IF THIS WERE TRUE, I WOULD GET WHAT I AM OWED)
Now, keep in mind that a divorce decree is legal and binding and he is offering me far less than what I am due. Needless to say, I responded with “I will not be signing.”
I tried to be civil. (HE’S THE CALM, RATIONAL ONE) Do what you need to do, though. Court dates can be set, you can hire an attorney and pay them, take time from work to appear and have this wrapped up for a year.(AGAIN TRUE STATEMENT BUT A CLOAKED THREAT)
To which I replied:
Civil is not suing me over an issue you caused and your attorney being a dick. Civil is not being unfair and expecting to get your own way and move on cuz your ready.
Civil is talking with not at. Civil is caring that I have the kids and wanting what is best for them. Civil is recognizing all that went into that house. Civil is knowing I spent every free hour besides sleep there making it right and cleaning.
You are being civil because you are being manipulative and fail to understand how smart I am.
I’m not the girl anymore that loves you so deeply I would do anything for you. You killed her long ago and since you never treat me with the respect of being your children’s mother, I’m simply someone you fucked. I was a vessel and then later you fucked me over after years of abuse and isolation and ignoring.
Don’t pretend to be civil. You are incapable unless you gain something from it.
I’m willing to go to Court. I’ve waited a long time. Another year is no big deal. I’ve been anticipating this bullshit since I moved. Ahead of the game. No surprise.
(I MEANT EVERY WORD. I WILL WAIT. MY LIFE HAS BEEN ON HOLD WITH HIM SO LONG, IT DOESN’T MATTER AND MY MOVING ON IS NOT CONTINGENT UPON OUR SETTLEMENT)
Remember, they NEVER have anyone’s best interest at heart, even their childrens. I share these because I do not want you to fall into their trap. Stay on your toes especially where financial abuse and deception is involved. IT NEVER STOPS. YOU CANNOT TRUST THEM.