If you have been a victim, although I prefer target, of Domestic Abuse, you know that the consequences of being a target has lasting consequences that you fight almost every day and sometimes night when anxiety won’t let your mind rest so that you can sleep.

Domestic violence allows an abuser in a position of power to prey on the person in the relationship who has less power.  In my case, I became a stay-at-home Mom dependent upon my ex’s income and while I would not change being home with my children and appreciate that he was on board with me doing that, it has ramifications now that far exceed our marriage.  I gave up my career.  Which means when I went back to work, 16 years later, I needed a new career and started at less than half of what I was making when I left.  That decision puts me in the position now of him having money and taking legal action every time he wants to stomp his feet and get his own way, and me ultimately deciding if I want to continue to be abused financially or move on.

Sometimes we have to make the decision to just walk away because the anxiety that the unknown causes, is far more costly than any financial loss.

I have different ways I deal with anxiety and stress.  I exercise, I meditate, I do something that I love or catch up with a girlfriend.  When I can’t sleep, I love the sleep album from Liquid Mind.  You can purchase it or find it on Youtube or Pandora.  There is something in that particular album, whether it is a tone or what that always puts me to sleep.  Give it a try and remember, as much as you want to win against your abuser, you can win by not engaging.  End the dance.  Move on.  Take care of yourself. Let it go.  Forgive yourself for staying.  Forgive yourself for giving up your life to the manipulator.  Life is too short to let them ruin one more second of your life.



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