How perfect is Shakespeare’s quote? It talks about discord within music that is so annoying, irritating, disagreeable, that there is no hope of harmony. In other words, it is irksome. Sound familiar? Is there anyone more disagreeable than a narcissist? Besides maybe a 2-year-old?
I remember calling my children’s psychologist and saying, “This is going to sound crazy and I try not to talk down my husband but I never knew I had a two-year-old until I actually had a 2-year-old.” He validated me. He said, “Oh yes. Some people have parents who are enthralled with them until about the age of 2 and then they don’t continue to move them forward emotionally. If you think your husband is acting like your 2-year-old, he probably is.” It was such an eye-opener for me. My mother-in-law who is now deceased loved kids up until about age 2. She admitted this, had 5 of her own because she loved babies and showed this on many occasions with her grandchildren. My ex was stuck in a 2-year-old time warp. Narcissists are undeveloped children who cannot yet self-identify with separation. You do not exist as a true, individual to a narcissist. No more than you are anything but Mom to your child. They have no ability to see another as a separate being with his or her own thoughts, beliefs, and experiences. They will consume you until nothing is left.
They become irksome. Annoying, irritating and disagreeable to the point that absolutely no harmony is to be had within the relationship because to them you are a non-entity in this life. And really, there is no relationship at all because that would require them joining your reality and you joining theirs and they are incapable.
You are alone with your “54” year old two-year-old. Playing Mom to someone who cannot understand or be taught because they cannot relate no matter how hard you try. It’s time for you to live. Let them go have their temper tantrum with someone else so that you can find peace and harmony within your life.