SUING YOUR ABUSER PART III

lady-justice

Most acts of domestic violence result not only in criminal liability but civil liability through tort law.

As a victim you have been robbed of your sense of control and given no emotional outlet.  Types of damages possible are:

  • lost wages
  • pain and suffering
  • punitive damages-not in all states; and
  • medical expenses both psychological and physical

It will be a very stressful procedure to take your abuser to court but may offer you some closure.  It is also expensive but courts could cause your abuser to pay fees.

One thing that could be sued is intentional emotional distress but you will need a doctor to agree with you.  Remember, mental abuse occurs when there is an indication of a power imbalance.  The outcome for the victim has can result in chronic depression, anxiety, PTSD and no self-esteem.

You will have to wait until you are safe to move forward and remember, this has nothing to do with keeping you safe. This lawsuit has to do with damages and the monetary amount attached to that pain and suffering.

If there was a lot of physical abuse, civil battery is high.

I have 3 marriage counselors that I can subpoena.  Plus I have my own counselors throughout the years that told me I was not the one who needed to be in counseling.  Pictures, diaries, restraining orders, many witnesses.  I believe that I have a chance of being successful if this is the root I am going to choose to take.

A lot of people, including him, would say move on.  I have.  So why would I want to do this?  First and foremost, he stole our children’s childhood with his narcissistic games.  He stole my life.  He lied. I was never going to have the life I wanted for myself with him but I loved him and believed he wanted the best for us.  It took me a very long time to realize his life was a fake which meant my life was a fake.  I didn’t marry for a fake life.  I didn’t marry to be afraid. I didn’t marry to have my self-worth stomped on.  I married for love. I married for better or for worse.  I married with a pure heart and with that pure heart, I gave up my career, I gave up what I wanted in life and my life became a nightmare of domestic abuse and trying to save my children.  I don’t feel that I deserved to live afraid, alone, walking on egg shells.  Constantly in anxiety, because he was threatening to take the children, threatening me or the children,  physically punching holes in walls or refrigerators or doors.  He was telling people I was on drugs, gambling and suggesting I was gay because he didn’t want to face himself in the mirror and think he might have anything to do with how I was acting.  Which was distant, cold, protective but still happy and smiling which drove him crazy.  I lived without my basic needs like new underwear and socks for myself.  Diapers for the kids.  I did everything I could to make him happy, even quitting my paralegal job because he threatened we wouldn’t make it if I didn’t.  I was too young to know that I was being brainwashed, manipulated and abused by someone with an agenda and low self-esteem because his facade was anything but.  I deserve a life now. I deserve all the lost wages.  The monetary value for pain and suffering. I deserve  to be validated and vindicated.  No one deserves how he treated me and continues to treat me in divorce.  Financially abusing me by not paying me my full equity and not paying his fair share for the boy’s senior pictures and trips.  Not answering me when I ask for help with the boys.  I am a full-time mother with a full-time job now and a part-time job.  Always have been a full-time Mom and he was a part-time dad who moved into a “when I feel like it Dad because my games with your Mother are more important than you.”

Want to know how to get to a narcissist?  Monetary.  There is nothing more precious than their finances and their masks.  Not the kids, not death, not even parents are more important than that facade they build to keep their egos up and stroked.

Finances?  That is the jugular and I am seriously thinking about making that fatal slice and taking some of my life back.  I deserve to have something back now that I have my freedom because as long as he holds me financially hostage, I’m not truly free.

 

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