DEAR NARCISSIST,

I cannot make you legally or morally be a father.  I also can’t make you take my phone calls concerning the children or make you be nice to me when I feel I do have to contact you.  I need you to understand when I do make those phone calls, it is not because I miss you or want to but because as the mature responsible party in this situation, I feel you need to know or respond.

I would be more than happy to have full custody and no contact at all but I will not accept your terms of part-time Dad.  You cannot have it your way.  Which is to contact me and tell me you are concerned and what are WE going to do about it but when I call you about a concern, you tell me not to contact you.  I no longer live in your world. I live in my world where people treat each other with respect and dignity.  I will not accept your terms anymore in my life.

So the next time you want to stomp your feet and drag me into court, remember, I am keeping track of the conversations.  Who contacted who and for what reason and your response.  I am making sure that I keep copies of all emails and your nastiness. I am writing down if it is a phone call, what was said and how.  I am dating it and timing it.  It is going into a chronological diary which is usually admissible in court and I will use it to my advantage because where I used to care about how you felt, I no longer do. I care about me and our children and breaking this cycle of abuse in your family.  My family (my maiden name) doesn’t have a cycle of abuse but my married  name does and I plan to take it down and make sure that our boys do not continue it.

So, welcome to my world which is pretty much the norm of all of those around you.  You can no longer hide. I think you probably learned that when your girlfriend of quite a few years broke up with you.  You are miserable right now because you have to face your demons.  People are now seeing, those you brainwashed anyway, that it is you that is incapable of a healthy, normal relationship.  And when people are commenting to me how miserable you are when they come into your place of business, it is time to look in the mirror.  Karma is a bitch and that tower you built for yourself is falling. It’s a long way down.  You’ve been looking down on others a long time.  I won’t be there to catch you when you fall and your lack of fatherhood probably means your children won’t be either.  But in my heart, I wish you no ill will.  I don’t have time for that bullshit.  I have children to raise.  Because I am always a full-time mother.

Blessings.

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