Christmas time proves to us that sometimes it is hard to be joyful. Our kids are possible off with the Narc, spending the holidays and he or she is showering them with gifts and attention in an attempt to wipe away a year of neglect on their part. They are love bombing the kids, using material things to brainwash them and build their alliances. You know this. Your kids are probably unaware at the moment and it doesn’t help that you are alone. But you have to plow through it. It’s only a day or two out of the year that you have to share them. At least in my case. My children do not like to spend a lot of time with their Dad. I would rather they be gone over the holidays than to work at damage control every week when they get home from their Dads. In the beginning, that is what I was doing.
So, what do I do? I make plans with a girlfriend to have dinner, drink wine and hang out. Sometimes we watch girl movies. Sometimes we craft. Sometimes we make vision boards or talk about our goals for the year.
I take some time to connect with other people by phone and I pamper myself a little while home. I take on a caregiving job, which is my second job without feeling guilty and have wonderful conversations with an elderly person and I make money while doing it!
I think about all I have to be thankful for since leaving the Narc. How I may miss my children on Christmas but I don’t have to put up with the abuse either. I don’t have all that stress that he gave me. I don’t live in doubt of whether he will be there in the morning or be nice to my parents and steps. I really have no stress.
I enjoy the lights, the company, the food, the laughs and I find joy in the journey. I reflect on how far I have come. I knew that in order to have personal growth and to get away from my abuser, some things would have to change, so I accepted it. I’m not going to lie and say I am in a great mood and super happy, but I am thankful to be able to have texted with great friends today and to be spending time tonight with my bestie from High School, who is giving up her children to her narcissist.
Don’t let one day labeled a holiday drag you down. Hell, they spend longer at camp in the summer! Spend your time finding joy in the journey and living with joy and thankfulness in your life.
Blessings and God’s healing light.