The constant serving of legal papers, telling your children just enough to give them anxiety, stealing your feeling of safety and continuously trying to kill your soul. Confusion is fun for them to watch as they continue, even after divorce, to try to strike a chord within you. As if on cue they can change their masks. They can go from helpful and concerned father to hateful, out to ruin you ex husband.
It is legal for them to not attend funerals, not give you money when married, control your every move, not give you time to yourself, make you go to weddings alone. It is legal for them to contradict you in front of your children. Make the kids take sides, change the divorce degree and do as they damn well please and to take you to court when they feel you are not following the divorce decree. It is legal for them to not show up to pick up your child when they are supposed to and make you leave a meeting at work. It is legal for them to hire your children, pay them too much within the year so that you don’t have a dependant to claim.
It is legal for them to continue to hurt you and your kids financially and emotionally. It is legal for them not to let go when you want nothing to do with them. It is legal for them to drag court matters out just to keep you within their grasp.
It is legal for them to judge you but remember their judgement is a confession of their character. Their opinion does not define who you are or where you will go. I am continuously self assessing and trying to heal and improve myself to be the best version of me I can be. I could give a rat’s ass what his thought of me is!
It is legal for them to suck the soul right out of your body. A narcissist reminds me of the dementors in the Harry Potter series. It is legal for them to leave you vacant eyed and broken. BUT, it is not okay for you to accept it! Fight back. Don’t let them feed on your unhappiness. You are entitled to be free and happy and loved. Don’t let them drag you down. They will beat on your door a lifetime if they know they can hurt you. There is a sick pleasure in knowing that they can hurt you and wreck havoc within your home. Your home is now your sanctuary. Do not allow it! Set goals, have as little contact as possible and no matter what boulder they throw in your life’s path, decide one of two things: Go around or climb over. Do not stand there letting the narcissist paralyze you once more.