Why is it that we as humans are afraid of silence? Is it because our heads are full and we then have to deal with what we are trying to place in a box in our head? Do quiet moments remind you of a time when you were alone or afraid of the monster under your bed as a child?

Being able to be in silence and give someone the space to have silence is something that is not only beneficial to healing but also beneficial in staying in a good place and allowing your partner or friend to stay in a good place. Ladies, that man cave thing, it is very real. So many women read into it as a negative thing but this is how a man processes. I’m lucky enough to have a man who says, I’m in my head today, thinking about such and such and I quickly say, “Okay, I’ll let you process.” But this blog today isn’t about how men and women process differently. It’s about humans as a whole needing to be able to embrace and learn inner silence for personal growth.

Mindful prayer and meditation are ways in which our mind goes from running to walking or jogging. You cannot fix anything if you are running. However, if you slow your brain down, that which needs to be repaired can be seen in a better light and the chances of coming up with a solution are upped.

Even just closing your eyes can remove more than half of the stimuli around you. I work with autistic kids and there are days when I need to regroup. I will close my eyes for a few minutes and things around me will be whirling but I am able to calm my own mind so that I can return to my student.

Inner silence helps us to observe our thoughts. It helps us to remove those that are not purposeful. It helps us come up with solutions for those that truly need solutions. It brings our emotions about particular things to the forefront so that we can deal with them in a way that does not require involvement at the moment. It allows our ego to settle. Think of it as meditating in front of a big bowl of problems written on pieces of paper. As you sit in silence you take those papers one by one out of the bowl. To the right, is the trash can. Mindfully, you throw those problems or issues away that are no longer as big as you thought they were now that your ego has settled down in silence. Now you look at the once full bowl to find it is almost empty. Only a few pieces of paper are left and those are the issues that need to be addressed and only in silence can the mind find solutions to those issues.

Probably one of my first experiences that I remember finding complete silence is actually just beyond my back yard. We had a Sudan grass field behind us and beyond that a patch of woods with beautiful wild flowers just inside the trees. I remember lying in the field of grass, just listening to it move back and forth. I could lie there for hours in silence. Thinking. Dreaming. I also loved to sit in the woods near the Jack in the Pulpit on a log. For me, being connected to nature, meant being connected to God. It was peaceful and mindful for me even at a young age and to this day, if I see a field of crops with a tree in the middle or outlining the field, I am immediately at peace. I love open, wide spaces. The different colors of the earth when it has been overturned to plant and the tall crops blowing in the breeze.

Being able to connect with your inner silence is so important to your mental well being. Needed answers naturally and effortlessly will rise out of the silence. Being silent allows the ego to step back. What you are desiring, working towards, any goal you have, brings the ego into play. Sometimes we need to let those things go into our silent place in order to keep ourselves grounded. More often out of that silence will come answers and ways to achieve those goals and desires.

Take a few minutes a day to close your eyes, remove the stimuli and go into silence. Empty your mind. Some people see beaches or fields. When I empty my mind, I see color. It takes practice to stay on course but it comes quickly if you take the time to do it a few minutes every day. Your mind does not automatically become quiet and still. Sometimes we need to empty that bowl a little. Stillness is the end result of embracing silence. By the end of your journey for that day, you should reach a few moments of stillness that will gradually increase with practice.

Finding that silence means letting go of control. That which controls your mind. Your worries, your wants, your needs. It’s about being silent and allowing your brain to slow down enough to tackle that which has a hold on you. Slowly your thoughts will go from running full speed to a walk. Your perceptions on things change as you slow things down.

When you are still, the simpler things in life become memorable. Walking barefoot, hearing the birds outside, watching the rain fall gently, help us to settle into a simple happiness with that around us and that in turn, keeps our mind walking instead of running and helps us deal with the every day event’s in our lives with a more level approach.



  1. Amazing you said so much of what I have felt for years but never spoke of. Especially the love of nature and my relating it to as to what American Indians feel. I enjoy peace and quiet and quietly think and pray for my family and ourselves. Quieting down my fears and thoughts for my family is the hardest as when I feel I feel hard. Enjoy being with someone I love, yet do not feel a need to have to make talk…just quiet happiness.


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